Marry Him! by Lori Gottlieb

So I have dating on the brain. It's been a subject of discussion A LOT recently, and this book totally coincides with the blessed subject. So Singletons -- this is for YOU. That's right -- If you find yourself hearing the faint sounds of a tick-tock when thinking about children. If you find yourself wandering the home appliances section of Target, AGAIN. If you can't figure out why men don't appreciate the National Treasure that you are, as evidenced by the amount of First Dates that don't progress to Second Dates -- then today is your lucky day! Even if you're married or steadily dating - knowledge is power, right? And if there is anything we ladies lloove it's power.

So in the spirit evaluation . . . let's take a quiz!

1. When walking into class/church/a bar/the discotheque, and spending the first minute scoping out the dudes, you

A) Realize you're way better looking than most people in the room and could probably get whomever you want.

B) Roll your eyes and think, Really? And then gather your girlfriends about you while lauding the many virtues of Girl Time! and how dudes just Suck.

C) Lament that there is only 2 men there that look like they're worth talking to - which is SO lame because it appears as though every other female is thinking the same thing.

D) Acknowledge that these guys may not appear attractive and your heart may not flutter,

but a little social effort may yield some interesting/amusing/educational results. You never know!

2. You've been known to turn down a date because

A) He laughs too loudly and it's totally a turn off.

B) He usually wears beat-up running shoes with everything, including the occasional Hawaiian print shirt. FASHION. DISASTER.

C) There is glaring lack of anything remotely resembling butterflies, fireworks, chemistry or other known analogies that get the blood racing. There's just no interest.

D) He has addictions/a nasty temper/is unkind and rude. In general: RED FLAGS.

3. If you could choose ONE quality that would define your husband-to-be, you'd go with

A) Romantical supreme!

B) Nearly-nerd Smarts!

C) Alpha-male work ethic!

D) Kindness.

Okay that's enough. I've never liked quizzes and my transcripts prove it. SO. If you find that you circled ANYTHING other than 'D' then it's time for you to acknowledge that you need help. Go ahead, say it with me: My name is _______, and I'm single for a reason.

I know. It hurts. But pain is good. Pain teaches us lessons. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. And now that you're hedging on depressed, go pick up this book instead of that pint of Ben & Jerry's you're thinking about. Because here's the thing that Gottlieb presents- there ARE good men out there, but women have a tendency to overlook them because that all-consuming attraction just ain't there with Mr. Good Enough.

Mr. Good Enough is NOT the man the graces the covers of romance novels or Jane Austen movie remakes or sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight. He's the solid and stable (and usually only average looking) man who works hard at a regular job, has a good sense of humor and is kind to his friends and family. Oh and he's also the one whom most women pass up until they realize their mistake, but by then -oops!- some other smarter women has nabbed him and will probably live happily together for the rest of their long and meaningful lives.

Marry Him is Gottlieb's story of her quest to find a husband as a 40-something year old. It's fascinating, it's painful, and it is totally readable. She takes Disney Princesses and feminism and turns them both on their heads, and then does the same to scores of women who continue to "hold out for something better," by consulting with married friends, single friends, matchmaking companies, marriage & family researchers, and a personal dating coach.

Most of this was not new to me (thanks dad!), but I found her experiences fascinating and her takeaways totally right on. I've loaned it to several single girlfriends already, all of whom not only really enjoyed it but also have decided to change a few approaches they have to dating. And for that, Ms. Gottlieb, I thank you .

4.5 fist pumps worthy.

Monsters of Men (Chaos Walking #3) by Patrick Ness

You know the drill by now with series books, right? Go read the first two and then feel free to come back.

This is a big book and I just don't have it in me to go into detail. So here's the skinny: the shiz has hit the fan. Mayor/President Crazypants is all, "I'm going to brainwash Todd, annihilate The Answer and that upstart Mistress Coyle, and wipe out the entire Spackle population all while discussing gold trim options for my new military uniform with the local tailor." Which he pretty much does.

BUT WAIT. We now have a new voice in town vying for attention. Enter Spackle #1017, whom we briefly (thank goodness - can we say creepster) met in the previous book. He is called The Return by the spackle community, who refer to themselves as The Land. And he is on a mission to destroy Todd and pretty much everything else.

Then we have the Determined Though Conflicted and Quite Possibly Dying Viola, who still is being manipulated by the Machiavellian Mistress Coyle and a host of other people. And maybe Todd? She's not sure because - SURPIRSE! - he can silence his Noise now. Which Viola no likey, and she senses that Todd is slowly being brainwashed by the ever increasing power of Mayor/President Prentiss.

So pretty much its non-stop power plays and broken treaties and bombs exploding everywhere while Todd and Viola continue to be separated way more than they (and we) want. It's truly maddening. Add to that the fact that every time the Mayor or Mistress Coyle was mentioned my eyesight turned red and I chanted DEATH! in my head. In a word: Exhausting.

The spackle/The Land was way more fascinating, and less preachy, than I had anticipated. I liked that we see through their point of view in this. They are flawed, they feel a lot of regret and sadness and hatred, they can be bloodthirsty. The inclusion of the spackle, especially given the very early references given to them and the first spackle war, make the series come full circle.

Let it be known that the end of book 1 and 2 was like, Holy Crap! But the end of Monsters was like HO. LY. CRAP. Yes, Kanye Caps to the max. With tears. Lots of tears. And yet it doesn't end sad, so don't let my sob fest deter you if you've been interested in this series up to this point. In fact, I think its the best ending to a series I've read in a loonng while.

4.5 out 5 stars. I can't give it a 5 because of the High Angst Level caused by Todd and Viola's separation and manipulation. I'm pretty sure it aged me a few years.

Book source: Amazon. As in, I proudly own these.

Amy & Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson

I'm fairly certain that had I read this in June my summer would have been vastly different. Namely, I would have cajoled a girlfriend to road trip with me, which would've resulted in an added 5 pounds from craptacular food, a few small roadkills, that affair with a lifeguard I've been meaning to have, and a notebook full of pictures and playlists. In short: Awesome.

Kind of like this book.

Amy Curry's life has taken a nose-dive over the past few months. Her twin brother is in rehab, her father died, and her mom put their house up for sale and is moving them to Connecticut. All right before her senior year. Mrs. Curry arranges for a friend's son, Roger, who is also headed to the east coast, to accompany Amy on the trip.

I feel that more plotline summary is unnecessary -- just think "Good Read About A Road Trip" and you can probably guess what happens. Adventures/Life Lessons/Tears/Romance/New Friendships all make a flashy appearance. As does a topiary moose, a Stealthy Break-In, and a sock-slide at WalMart.

The Favorite Bits: The pictures -- copies of receipts, flyers, emails and playlists. It makes the journey feel real and personal. Also love that each chapter heading features a song line that ties in somehow. Morgan Matson I approve of your taste in music, and have even looked up a few songs on Roger's playlists. Totes to you, dear lady. Parenthetically, your bio picture is disgustingly adorable.

I also loved Bronwyn (despite her name) with her refreshing kindness (she's from Texas, so...) and"Get up, dress up, show up" mantra. And can I also say how nice it was, for the first time in living memory, to read something that takes place (only somewhat, obviously) in southern California? Finally a book that isn't obsessed with New York! I kind of love Miss Matson more because of her obvious love of the LA area; that, and her featuring of some of the nations' favorite foods -- should I ever decide to go to Kentucky.

The Not So Much: I'll try not to be spoilery, but I rarely succeed at that, so whatever. Here's the thing with Amy & Roger - by the end of the book they've still only known each other for like a week. I know long road trips force you to bond faster yada yada yada. But I REJECT the end. It felt cheap and rushed. Some highway bonding and romantic tension should not an intimate relationship make. Particularly with characters who want long-term commitment. So I'm not buying.

I've heard this book as being touted as something Sarah Dessen could've written. I would qualify that with a "But Not Quite As Innocent" follow-up. The F word is dropped a few times, and there's some hanky panky insinuations thrown in for good measure. I love that I just used the words hanky panky. How pervy does that sound.

Epic Detour is an Ultimate Summer Read that can be enjoyed any season of the year. Two thumbs up for a good exploration.

Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

I've been meaning to review this for a while now, and then I realized the movie has been out for like a month - so, a little overdue.

I haven't seen the movie, so I couldn't say how true to the book it is. The first time I watched the trailer though I thought that 1) I had no idea it took place in the 50s/60s, so either that's a new addition or I'm a bit thick, and 2) I really like how they capture the glow of the book. Because it's one of those reads that's just sweet and warm and chocolate chip cookies with cold milk. Take a gander:



In essence, Flipped is the story of two kids, Julie & Bryce, who live across the street from each other. They recount flashbacks and their current 8th grade year from their alternating perspectives.

I like this book because it slowly changes how you view the characters. At first, Julie is a somewhat obnoxious girl who has no concept of boundaries, and Bryce is understandably afraid of her and her propensity to chase him around the playground. As they get older Julie really comes into her own, and both Julie and Bryce's family is given more color and presence. Both learn valuable lessons about family and loyalty and understanding.

The problem for me were some of the memories that Bryce and Julie both shared views on. It just dragged it out too much and sometimes bogged down the story. I know it was important to see each side of the story, and thus understand the characters more, but sometimes it was just too much of the same event over and over.

Flipped is one of those books that all ages seem to really enjoy. Short and sweet, much like this post.
4 puffy little baby chicks for this one.

Book source: Local library.

Scarlett Fever (Scarlett #2) by Maureen Johnson

I feel hungover from Mockingjay. For, like, the past 3 days and counting. I finished Scarlett Fever right before jumping into Mockingjay, and now I wish I'd waited to read it after. Heaven knows I need a literary percocet.

Oh well. Onward.

So. Scarlett is concluding her Summer of Hamlet & Heartbreak and is now the personal assistant of the great 'n crazy Mrs. Amberson. This is, of course, a recipe for many a disaster. Here is an itemized list of the wonderful things you can expect to find in this delightful second book of a planned trilogy:


1) More Spencecapades. Spencer witty comments, Spencer stunt falling/tripping/crashing/death, Spencer accidentally becoming New York's Most Hated Citizen. The usual.

2) Flying doughnuts.

3) Marlene being even FREAKIER because, for completely unknown but surely devious reasons, she is being NICE.

4) Personal assault in Biology perpetrated by Scarlett herself.

5) Murray the Surly Doorman and Murray the Tinkling Rat-dog, both of which are pretty intolerable.

6) A burgeoning love triangle that TOTALLY blindsided me. Which was refreshing because usually an approaching Love Triangle is about as subtle as a naked priest doing cartwheels during service.


For me, Suite Scarlett and Scarlett Fever easily sweep the oh-so-prestigious Summer Must Reads Award. It's neither very heavy nor too fluffy. Superb writing, great story flow, fun characters -- the works. I do, however, have two small problems with this latest installment.

First, Chelsea. The Up And Coming Star, who, I think, was supposed to be really obnoxious -- and maybe mean?-- because Scarlett intensely dislikes her. But I just felt bad for the girl. I mean, she hadn't had a milkshake in like TEN YEARS and her mom is straight-up psychotic.

Second, THE ENDING THAT LEFT ME PLEADING FOR MORE. Just like your common (or rather my common) neighborhood drug addict, I NEED MORE NOW. Did you hear me Maureen Johnson?! N-O-W. This whole Max thing -- what?! And also, YES.

Get to it, Johnson.


Nutshell: Just as fantastic as the first. 4 out 5 flying jelly-filled doughnuts.

Book source: Local library.

The Ask and the Answer (Chaos Walking #2) by Patrick Ness

If you haven't read The Knife of Never Letting Go and you intend to, you may as well skip this one. It'll be fairly boring anyway, seeing as that I really liked it.

Ask picks up about where Knife left off. Mayor Prentiss has beaten Todd & Viola to Haven, Viola was shot and Todd promised to do whatever the Mayor Satan wants if he'll only help Viola. So a deal is struck.


And you know what they say about deals with the devil . . .



Like many a human, I am often disenchanted with Book Two of trilogies. They usually suffer from a drawn-out story stuffed with fillers and maddening subplots and the like. The Ask wasn't that different, other than it was still well written. The beginning and middle seemed slow, largely because Todd and Viola are separated. There were things going on, but it wasn't the constant On The Run pace that made Knife so gripping. Pretty much the first 3/4 of it had me seething at Todd and Viola's separation. Half the time they aren't sure if the other is alive, and then the few times that they are able to have clandestine meetings they still aren't sure if the other hasn't been brainwashed into joining the other side.

This had two major effects on me.
1) I was going out of my mind with frustration and rage at all the people keeping them apart through lies and manipulation, and
2) I ended up rooting for Todd & Viola harder than ever.

I've always loved Todd. But in Ask I LOVE Todd. I think I had some real anxiety about him and the things he goes through, so it kept the pages turning quickly. He grows up in this one, and not just because he technically "becomes a man" when his long-awaited birthday rolls around. He sacrifices, he suffers more loss, he fights to remain good while forced to participate in evil. And he does it all for Viola.

Viola, in her own right, is a strong, smart and admirable heroine. She drove me crazy at times, partially because I felt she was smart enough to see through some of the lies, so I was glad to see her make some hard choices to get back to Todd. Really, I just love them. In Knife they seemed like kids on the run, but in Ask they have a solid bond built on trust and sacrifice and deep caring for the other. I really like where they, as a team, are headed in the end of Ask, so I can't wait for Monsters of Men to be released.


Oh, and I remembered that Viola's POV is brought into the mix. With a pretty little font all her own. I felt that it was a good call on Ness' part since it's an effective way to get to know more about Viola. The downside is that it slowed down the pace, because HELLO she is working in a hospital for a big chunk of it. Not exactly a hotspot of excitement.

You know what else I really liked about this one? The complexity of the evil characters, namely Mayor Prentiss and Davy Prentiss. You're never quite sure of the motivations of the Mayor, and even though you can bet that every word out of his mouth is a lie, he is a master manipulator. By the end Davy is convincingly shown as an abused, brainwashed loser who might not be as sick and worthless as he originally appeared. That, I think, makes for good storytelling. Complex "bad" guys. Straight-up evil is rather boring.

In short, while it wasn't quite as good as Knife, I still loved it. 4 out 5 word-globs of Noise.

Book source: Local library.

Friday Favorites! The Hourglass Door by Lisa Mangum

I accidentally loved this book.

It's one of those times where I picked it up from the library, not remembering I had put it on hold, didn't read the summary, and so began without any idea of what it was about. That certainly helped with the Joyfully Entertained factor. That, and I was lying on Zuma beach in Malibu in the sunshine with a Diet Coke while reading it.

Abby is ready to get out of her hometown. Oh sure, her senior year is going fine. The school play is coming along (though it's quite Stressful), her next door neighbor turned best friend is now her boyfriend (though he's something of a yawn), and her college applications have been sent off (even though she's interested in attending only one). Enter the Italian foreign exchange student Dante Alexander. He's handsome, dark and brooding, and totally Mysterious. That's when strange things start to happen, and Abby's normal life starts to spin out of control. Friends, school, romance - it's all heads south. Nothing about Dante seems to add up, but she can't deny her growing infatuation with him. Ancient Secrets are revealed and Abby finds herself caught in what could be an epic battle over power.

While I did enjoy this book immensely and can't wait to begin the next in the trilogy, The Golden Spiral, I do have some slight hang ups . . .

First. It has some slight echoes to Twilight in the romance department. Apparently we just can't get enough of our Hot, Mysterious And Quite Possibly Dangerous heroes. Fear not though, Dante is no Edward. He is unsure of himself and what he needs to accomplish. He's brave but more of an artist than a fighter. Abby, while not a whimpering clumsy annoying Bella, is likeable but I didn't love her. She's like many a Mary Sue heroine who is pretty mediocre and yet miraculously finds herself to be The True Love of Every Female's Desire. Both are like most YA characters who suffer from the I Am A Teen But I Express Myself In Ways That Make Me Sound Middle Aged syndrome. And, like every other teen romance, they're rife with teen angst, tension and make-out sessions behind the bleachers. For all Twilight haters, this will undoubtedly irk you since there are plenty of flowery similes regarding the perfection of Dante's eyes or back or whathaveyou. But then again, if that sort of thing makes you vomit then you have probably come to the wrong blog. With YA it's just part of the package, and don't pretend you don't secretly love it.

Second. POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT! The Hourglass Door deals with time travel. And while I do love me some sci-fi time dilemmas, rarely do people succeed in attempting to make a comprehensible story involving time travel. There are just too many paradoxes that are confusing and muddy my head. This element has the effect of both 1) making the story much more interesting, and 2) creating confusion that can detract from the story. You'd think that those two would cancel each other out, but I guess it's just another example of yet another paradox.

Now for the pluses. Mangum is a gifted writer. She has good command of language, the pace flows quickly, and the suspense and mystery make it hard to put down. Really, it's just some good ole' storytelling. I appreciated that both the story and the characters were allowed to build. I liked that Abby was dating someone else, someone she really cared about, and thus struggled over how to handle the obvious chemistry with Dante. And while we all knew that What's His Name Boyfriend wouldn't last, it was nice to see her grapple with decisions and repercussions.

I also enjoyed that I was trying to figure out mysteries at the same time Abby was. I really didn't know what was going on, and I loved knowing it had nothing to do with vampires or werewolves. The Slight Twists & Surprises were creative and intriguing, and I was never confused or felt bogged down by details.

I often rank books by how much I think about them when I can't read them. It's probably not the best way to determine whether the book has true merit, but for me it's a good guideline of how entertaining I find the read. And really, I don't aim for much more in life other than finding happiness in reading something enjoyable. I was only a couple chapters into Hourglass Door and was put-out that I had to go to some party or something instead of staying home to finish it. And the whole time I was out, while people blathered on to me about things, I kept thinking about What Might Happen Next in the book.

In all, a Fast & Furious read that I'll probably re-read in the near future.

4/5 stars.

Book source: Local library.

The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

Todd Hewitt is the only boy in a town of men. Ever since the settlers were infected with the Noise germ, Todd can hear everything the men think, and they hear everything he thinks. Todd is just a month away from becoming a man, but in the midst of the cacophony, he knows that the town is hiding something from him — something so awful Todd is forced to flee with only his dog, whose simple, loyal voice he hears too. With hostile men from the town in pursuit, the two stumble upon a strange and eerily silent creature: a girl. Who is she? Why wasn't she killed by the germ like all the females on New World? Propelled by Todd's gritty narration, readers are in for a white-knuckle journey in which a boy on the cusp of manhood must unlearn everything he knows in order to figure out who he truly is. Taken from Goodreads.

I checked this out some months ago, but could barely get through the first chapter because it was too . . . weird. After seeing that the third one (yes, another trilogy) is due to come out this fall, and stumbling upon more raves over this book, I decided to give it another go. I think I should address my initial hang-ups, because I think there are others who would shy away from The Knife of Never Letting Go for the same reasons.

First, the language. The voice of Todd, and a handful of other characters, read the way I always imagined The Blue Fugates (you know - the Blue People of Kentucky/West Virginia) would probably sound. Thick southern drawls where creatures are "creachures" and lots of "a-ridin off" and "ain't ya's" and certain men's Noise is IN Different font. This can either be an effective attention-grabber or a jarring distraction - I think it's supposed to be both, actually. I like it. Ness wisely uses language, punctuation (or the lack thereof), and font choice to evoke a certain momentum or emotion. For example:

"And he's grabbing her by the neck with one hand and smashing a cloth over her nose and mouth with the other and as I call out and take a step forward I hear her scream from beneath it and she tries to fight with her hands but Aaron's holding her tight and by the time I've taken my second and third steps she's already swooning from whatever's on the cloth and on my fourth and fifth steps he's dropping her to the ground and Manchee is still in my arms and on my sixth step he's reaching behind his back and I don't have my knife and I have Manchee with me and I can only run toward him and on my seventh step I see him bring around a wooden staff that's been strapped to his back and it swings thru the air and strikes me full on the side of my head with a CRACK . . ."

The Punctuation Rejection works well to keep the scene fast and gripping. Love it.

Initial Hang Up #2: there is this creepy aura about this world Todd lives in. The whole environments feels like the color of the cover - like the way the sky looks when there has been a huge fire. Red-orangey gray without true sunlight, swamps and tumbleweeds and poverty and cruelty. The Noise of the men is usually desperate, bleak, and hopeless. And while Todd hints at some of the things he regularly sees in the Noise of their memories of women, it never gets graphic or offensive.

I think when I did my First Attempted Reading I just wasn't in the mood for something dark and despairing. Now that I've rejected the pleasurable things in life and have begun kicking puppies and making rude gestures to old people I guess this genre is more fitting to me now. Anyway. I found this to be a great read; compelling characters, fast-paced storytelling, gripping suspense and a dash of mystery.

Highly recommended to dystopian/sci-fi fans.

Book source: Local library.

Friday Favorites: His Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Clary Fray is not the ordinary girl from Brooklyn that she thought she was. After happening upon what she thinks is a crime scene, Clary is introduced to the world of the Shadowhunters - the world she was born into without realizing it. Shadowhunters are the feared enforcers of law and order who ruthlessly hunt and destroy demons, and keep Downworlders - the supernatural creatures on earth - from preying on humans. None are more skilled at this than Jace, the cocky 17 year old Shadowhunter who delights in smashing heads and breaking hearts. Along with a slew of delightful secondary characters, Clary struggles to solve the mysteries of her past, her forbidden attraction to Jace, her place within this new world of violence, and the growing threat that could destroy Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike - the ex-Shadowhunter, Valentine.

This is a trilogy made up of The City of Bones, The City of Ashes and The City of Glass. I know these have been out for a while, but I just discovered them last year. I had seen them around before and I was like, "Ew the cover art is weird and cheesy," so I never thought about picking one up to read. Also, Stephanie Meyer has this huge endorsement on them and I was thinking that it seemed pathetic to use her name to sell more, which had the opposite effect on me than what the publisher was probably going for. That's what you get for judging by the cover I guess. But who am I kidding - I do it all the time and won't ever stop. And really, the art does His Mortal Instruments NO justice at all. Plus, I was kind of over all these supernatural YA books that are all the rage. But then a friend of mine, whose taste in books I admire, read and loved them so I swallowed my pride and decided to give them a try.

I love these books. They just have so much going for them. It's hard for me to admit my love because I feel like they're such a guilty pleasure, but really I think my snobbery is unfounded because C.Clare is a great writer. She weaves a spectacular blend of elements; a creative and intriguing mythology, fast-paced storytelling, dangerous adventures and dark secrets, love triangles and witty banter. It's like an ice cream sundae with all the works. One of my greatest purchases, and I've gotten some great deals in my lifetime of shopping, was getting the hardcover set last fall from Amazon for only $30 brand new. For ALL THREE. HARDCOVER. Oh Amazon how I love thee. . .

Anyway. I shied away from these because it seemed like the people raving over them were the crazed Twilight fanatics, though I hope that anyone who likes adventure and wit and just an all-around fun story will read them. Not all will like them though, and probably for a couple reasons. First, it is teen angst to the max. Which I very openly love because I find it excessively diverting when done well. And I think it's done well because 1) there's so many other components driving the story besides love, or the lack thereof; 2) the banter between all angsty characters is unrivaled in its hilarity; and 3) Jace. Jace is a love-him-or-hate-him character, and I adore him because he is all snark and Bad-A behavior. I read City of Bones and I was like, Jace is what I aim to be in life! Sans the boy part.

"Not everything is about you," Clary said furiously.

"Possibly," Jace said, "but you do have to admit that the majority of things are."

And that's just a TASTE of what comes out of Jace's mouth. For your enjoyment, here is another exchange that had me laughing as I read it:

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss.

"I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?"

"Traded him for Alec," Clary said.

Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?"

"No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."

Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."

"That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not."

See? Brilliant.

The other reason these don't sit well with some is the revelation at the end of the City of Bones that thwarts the relationship between Clary and Jace. At first I was rather bothered, but of course things get resolved in the very end like all non-tragic epics. I figure that twist was thrown in to keep the tension tight throughout the series, which Clare succeeds in doing. And these books DO have this epic feel about them; not in the way that Harry Potter does but in a similar vein I think.

I wanted to review these because I got all three on audiobook and I've been listening to them the past week at work. The reader for City of Bones is Ari Graynor I think, and Natalie Moore for City of Ashes and City of Glass, though the differences aren't noticeable. In fact, I would have never noticed except that Natalie Moore did the Dairy Queen audiobook too so her voice was familiar to me. Of course I imagine some of the things the characters say (or yell) to sound differently than how they're read out loud, but otherwise the audiobooks are fantastic.

All in all His Mortal Instruments is highly recommended to anyone who likes YA and urban fantasy, or anyone willing to get off their high horse and give them a shot despite those things. Both my thumbs way way up.

Gentelmen by Michael Northrop

Micheal is not cool. It's hard to be taken seriously when your own parents don't spell your name right on the birth certificate. His friends Mixer, Tommy and Bones are also losers who are either ignored at school or instill fear in their fellow classmates. Mr. Haberman, their remedial English teacher who is Boring and Weird, is the only one who pays any attention to them and always refers to them as "gentlemen."But when one of the group members mysteriously goes missing, suspicion turns to Mr. Haberman as the boys search for clues and meanings from his class lectures and strange behavior.

First, can we take a second to admire the creepy factor of the cover? That boy is in a body bag. I know - AWESOME.

Right from the get go this story pulled me in. Micheal is a great narrator; he's simple and self-deprecating, but honest and clever. His voice is distinct and somewhat gritty but in a way that feels very age appropriate. Through his eyes we see the unfolding of some bizarre behavior coming from people who surround Micheal, and the author is able to convey this strangeness very simply and convincingly. He weaves in the story of Crime and Punishment, a book Micheal & Gang are studying in English, in a creative way that I quite enjoyed without actually copying the storyline from C&P. The story kept me guessing, right along with Micheal, and until the very end I had no idea how it would turn out.

It was a quick and enjoyable read, partially because it's so unlike other books I've read, and partially because Micheal was such a fascinating character to get to know. Two thumbs up!

Book source: Local library.

Slob by Ellen Potter

Owen Birbaum, age 12, is the fattest kid in school. His younger sister Caitlin, now called "Jeremy" after joining GWAB (Girls Who Are Boys) is much braver than he is. His oreos continue to disappear from his lunch bag despite his genius traps to ensnare the hand of the culprit. And worst of all, his gym teacher has made it his personal agenda to make Owen's life as humiliating and horrible as possible.

Thankfully, Owen is also brilliant. One IQ point below genius as a matter of fact. And now he's on a mission to solve some ongoing perplexing miseries. Like the continuing disappearance of his oreos, with the creepy new kid who may or may not carry a switchblade in his sock being the #1 suspect. And finally getting his machine "Nemesis" to piece together what happened on The Horrible Day that changed everything for him and his sister.

Slob is a Juvenile fiction book that delivers on every level: clever storytelling, unique characters, humor, and Life Lessons Learned. Owen is sometimes a sad character but never pathetic. His humor and big heart make him an ideal hero for this genre.

However. It's one of those For Kids But Also For Adults Who Like Books For Kids sorts of books, which makes it hard to categorize. It has this twinge of sadness running through it, but I think kids could relate to the Gym Teacher from Hell. And it IS really funny. A lot of Juvenile/YA books are crossovers that appeal to a wide audience, but this often confuses me because I'm not sure who to recommend it to. I'm not sure if I would have loved it as a kid the way I do as an adult.

The point is, you can't really fail with this one. So if you're tired of hormonal vampires and obnoxious love triangles and Serious Topics, this will be a breath of fresh air.

Book Source: Local Library.

Friday Favorites!

Lament by Maggie Stiefvater


Dierdre "Dee" Monaghan is shy, pretty and a singing/harp playing prodigy. She is also on the top of the Fey's Most Wanted List, which isn't a place you want to be. Dee has a burgeoning talent for seeing the supernatural, a frightening occurrence that begins happening in high frequency around the same time as the beautiful and mysterious Luke Dillon comes waltzing into her life. Dee quickly finds herself with a lot on her plate: She's unwillingly caught in the web of some dark cunning faeries. Freaky. She tries to maintain balance in her relationships, both family and her bestie, James, an utterly charming and snarky piper. Tres Annoying. Then, against her better judgment, she finds herself becoming infatuated with Luke who may or may not be lying/honest/protecting her/trying to kill her/good/sinster/human/merman. Okay, he's not a merman. But still. STRESSFUL.

Let's start with what first jumps out at us, shall we?

The cover shown at the top is my favorite of the two editions you can find in libraries and bookstores. Which isn't saying tons, but the cover with the sword? Come on. I felt the same when Finnikin of the Rock came out; I knew I wanted to read it but I also knew I never wanted to read anything with a sword on the cover. Since this book is aimed towards girls I'm thinking that the sword is NOT helping to sell it. Call it a hunch. Nothing about these covers gives any kind of feel for what you might find inside, but rather gives the illusion of chinsy writing and storytelling, which is a shame.

But let's move on to its true merits.

I love Maggie Stiefvater. She has a gift with words, using them lyrically to fit this story but utterly real to where it doesn't feel as if you're reading at all. Rarely does her writing come across stilted, forced or trite. I covet such talent. But I digress.

This is one of the ultimate paranormal romances, because while in many ways it's formulaic, the story and the characters are just excellent. Dee, though quiet and vulnerable, is smart and has an admirable strength. Luke, a flute player, has a Secret and is obviously tormented by it. Their connection is immediate and strong, though I felt it came on too fast to be genuine. Actually, truth be told, I found him stalkerish through the beginning. By the end though I was buying it hook, line and sinker. Both struggle to do what they judge to be right and best, not just what they want, which is rare to come across in any love story. Then compound that to their inexorable ties to The Fey, and you have the formula for why Stiefvater excels in Lament and the follow-up, Ballad.

This world of faerie is dark and strange. I found myself on occasion wanting to yell to Dee to JUST GET OUT OF THERE because I could just feel the creepiness wafting out of the faeries with their cruel beauty and cunning minds. Luke also has this other-worldly and enigmatic aura going for him, and you're never sure what his intentions are. I liked that I slowly pieced together his story, figuring him out at the same time as Dee. It made for a sometimes confusing beginning, but an engrossing end that I felt emotionally invested in. Just because I liked this particular love story though doesn't mean that others will. There are plenty out there who don't, and their complaints are valid. So take it for what it's worth.

Much like the songs Dee sings whilst strumming her harp, Lament is hauntingly beautiful because it weaves classic themes in such a unique style and setting. Trust and deception, sacrifice and selfishness, love and loss and redemption. Without giving any real spoilers let me warn that the ending is abrupt and surprising, and don't expect answers to all your questions. If you are a human who NEEDS resolution to every story, know that you aren't likely to find it. Ballad, known as the sequel and often said to be better than its predecessor, is NOT a sequel in the sense that it solves all the problems that began in Lament. Though I myself find some angst in Not Knowing Everything, it's totally worth it.

I give this book an A for plot, writing style, pace, characters and that pull-me-in-and-wring-me-out factor.

Friday Favorites!

Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock

DJ Schwenk of Red Bend, Wisconsin, is not having the greatest summer of her life. She is pretty much running her dairy farm full of cows named after football players alone. She has an English class to make up. Her family is its own brand of strange: her younger brother is borderline mute, her dad has a bum leg so stays in the kitchen and cooks, and her two older college football playing brothers haven’t spoken to the rest of the fam in months. And on top of it all, she gets roped into helping train Brian Nelson - the arch-rival high school football quarterback.

I really truly adore this book. I have been listening to it on my iPod, courtesy of the audio cds from the library, and I remembered just how delightful DJ is. She’s definitely not your ordinary Mary Sue characterization; she has this fresh voice with plenty of simple musings about her own quirks, her family and life in general. Her insecurities with being “built like a draft horse,” having a wacktacular family that doesn’t communicate, not being super smart or popular, and Brian being way out of her league, are all legitimate and relatable worries. She has a slew of admirable traits that I find to be less common in YA “heroines”. She works hard without complaining, she’s humble and quick to forgive, listens more than she speaks, and puts effort into improving her relationships. And of course, you have to give the girl kudos for the gusto it takes to try out for the football team.

I also love that Brian Nelson is so flawed and simultaneously so endearing. He provides a good balance to DJ. He brings out a fun side of her, and teaches her how to talk to solve problems all Oprah Winfrey style, as she would say.

Categorically I’m not sure where to put this. YA, obviously, but a chick book? A jock book? Jick? Chock? I think guys might like it, since it’s not really romantical and DJ’s not uber girly, but certainly not all dudes.

This, along with the two follow-ups The Off Season and Front and Center, is one of my favorite YA series that I’ll continue to read throughout the years. It’s a pleasure to watch DJ gain emotional depth and perspective as she gets older. It’s certainly a coming-of-age book, but not in a Serious And Heavy way. Also, there’s a lot of football in it. Maybe not a selling point for some, but I was eating it up.

Two thumbs way, way up.

Book source: My bookshelf.