Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway

Audrey has decided to finally dump her lame boyfriend. Little does she know that that very night he would write a hit song about her, launching both his band and Audrey into a whirlwind of fame and paparazzi. This is Audrey's side of the story; her take on The Dumping, the Mistake that is Simon Lolita, the Fame Monster (no, Lady Gaga does not make a cameo), the True But Sometimes Misguided Loyalty of her bff, and the Treasure that is James From The Scooper Dooper.

I feel in the mood to start with the downsides. I like ending with the happies.

So the most glaring offense is the language. I went to a high school football game recently and was appalled anew by the language of such short little humans. Still, I'd rather not have it shoved in my face every other paragraph. It's too much for my fragile self.

Next, the story. "Audrey, wait!" is the name of the infamous song, the reason for all the calamity that follows. No teen, especially one who cares about music, will be in love with a song that is ALWAYS played on the radio and MTV and every other media outlet. Every person Audrey has contact with comments on how much they lluuurvve this song! Really? NO ONE hates it? Emo, Indy, Punk AND Pop fans all adore it? Right.

Then the fame. Audrey becoming an InstaCeleb is a stretch. Remember when that song "Hey there Delilah" was playing every two minutes, and how The Real Delilah made page 48 of US Weekly, and people were like, I wonder who Delilah is and what makes her sooo great? But actually didn't care after 3 seconds? Yeah. Not here. So while that parts requires some imagination, I DO like the Average Girl Is Involuntarily Thrust Into Spotlight And Tries (always without success) To Retain Her Normal Lifestyle theme.

Which brings us to The Likes. I like Audrey, potty mouth and all. She's very witty, fairly rational, generally kind and totally spunky. I like her relationships with people. With her entertaining parents, her best friend, and even, in the end, her Ex BF. I love her blossoming relationship with the Charming Nerd James.

I like that this book, just like Amy & Roger's Epic Detour which I read right before this, has a song line at each chapter heading. Because Audrey, being the cool girl she is, is REALLY into music.

Though I can't say that I'd recommend it because of the language, Audrey, Wait! really is a fun read. 3.9 Grammies for this catchy piece.

Book source: Paperback Swap

Scarlett Fever (Scarlett #2) by Maureen Johnson

I feel hungover from Mockingjay. For, like, the past 3 days and counting. I finished Scarlett Fever right before jumping into Mockingjay, and now I wish I'd waited to read it after. Heaven knows I need a literary percocet.

Oh well. Onward.

So. Scarlett is concluding her Summer of Hamlet & Heartbreak and is now the personal assistant of the great 'n crazy Mrs. Amberson. This is, of course, a recipe for many a disaster. Here is an itemized list of the wonderful things you can expect to find in this delightful second book of a planned trilogy:


1) More Spencecapades. Spencer witty comments, Spencer stunt falling/tripping/crashing/death, Spencer accidentally becoming New York's Most Hated Citizen. The usual.

2) Flying doughnuts.

3) Marlene being even FREAKIER because, for completely unknown but surely devious reasons, she is being NICE.

4) Personal assault in Biology perpetrated by Scarlett herself.

5) Murray the Surly Doorman and Murray the Tinkling Rat-dog, both of which are pretty intolerable.

6) A burgeoning love triangle that TOTALLY blindsided me. Which was refreshing because usually an approaching Love Triangle is about as subtle as a naked priest doing cartwheels during service.


For me, Suite Scarlett and Scarlett Fever easily sweep the oh-so-prestigious Summer Must Reads Award. It's neither very heavy nor too fluffy. Superb writing, great story flow, fun characters -- the works. I do, however, have two small problems with this latest installment.

First, Chelsea. The Up And Coming Star, who, I think, was supposed to be really obnoxious -- and maybe mean?-- because Scarlett intensely dislikes her. But I just felt bad for the girl. I mean, she hadn't had a milkshake in like TEN YEARS and her mom is straight-up psychotic.

Second, THE ENDING THAT LEFT ME PLEADING FOR MORE. Just like your common (or rather my common) neighborhood drug addict, I NEED MORE NOW. Did you hear me Maureen Johnson?! N-O-W. This whole Max thing -- what?! And also, YES.

Get to it, Johnson.


Nutshell: Just as fantastic as the first. 4 out 5 flying jelly-filled doughnuts.

Book source: Local library.

Eyes Like Stars (Theatre Illuminata #1) by Lisa Mantchev

Beatrice Shakespeare Smith lives in a theater. An enchanted theater no less. But she is about to be forcibly removed from her magical home full of Fictional Characters Come To Life because, despite being the beloved orphan of the Theatre Illuminata, she is a total prankster and the Stage Manager just can not handle it anymore.

So she makes a deal with the Theater Manager- she can stay so long as she contributes something important to the theater. She's no actress, so she takes up directing (to the dismay of all characters whom insist they need no directorial support seeing as they are the character that was written). Then somehow, I can't remember at the moment as it's a Friday afternoon, but this Really Important Book is compromised and the characters can leave the theater - which I guess I forgot to mention has been impossible to do at this point. And pretty much everything turns to Chaos!, and she sort of forms this plan at the end for how to solve it but then it just ENDS.


Was that kind of spoilery to mention that? I mean, this is labeled as Theatre Illuminata #1 so I assumed deductive logic would rule out the notion of a resolved ending.

Anyway. I'll start off by stating that I liked this book, not luurve it like I always want to, but I think I might be biased for two reasons.

1. I am no theater connoisseur. I like seeing a jolly stage production every now and again, but that is about the extent of it. Maybe I would've appreciated parts of this more if I were more of the thespian sort. Or not. Who knows.

2. The cover art is just so pretty. And I have a weakness for anything shiny, sparkly or lovely to behold. I know it has nothing to do with the content which is why you shouldn't make judgments based on the cover yada yada yada. Still makes me happy to hold a pretty book though.

Okay so, substance. It lacked some of that. The idea of the theater: creative. The characters: fun. All of it mixed together: sloppy. The plot reminded me of a badly edited low-budget film. It just didn't flow very well. I found myself re-reading scenes just to get an idea of what was happening, and that detracts from that Getting Lost In The Story feeling. It was choppy at parts and felt underdeveloped. Like maybe Matchev didn't have lots of details about the history, the environment, or the mysterious binding magic in her head.

The characters should've been developed more. As it was, I liked them all enough to be interested in them even though I never felt a real connection to them. Bertie (ugh - that was one of my hang ups. Bertie? Really? Can Beatrice not be shortened into something that doesn't sound like the village cross-eyed boy whom everyone tries to be nice to even though he is really obnoxious and slightly creepy? Come on.) - anyway, Bertie is a fun heroine. She dyes her hair whacked-out colors. She sets off minor explosions. She has Turkish baths on the stage when it suits her fancy. Plus, she's witty. And she's got these little fairies that hang about her all the time who are quite humorous as well.

"You didn't just write the play, Bertie," Peaseblossom said suddenly. "You ordered the Players about, shouted, and threw an artistic hissy fit. Do you know what that makes you?"
"A temperamental fusspot?" Mustardseed guessed.
"Crazier than a bag full of crazy?" Moth said.
"Close," Peaseblossom said. "It makes her a Director."


There's a Not Quite But Aiming To Be Love Triangle, which is hard for me to buy into because it's just so obvious whom she'll pick, but whatever. I still loved it. Partially because Nate is a Swashbuckler with a Scottish accent and a penchant for teasing.
"One o' these days, lass, I'm goin' t' still that mouth o' yers."
Um, yes please.

As I said earlier, the Non-End resolves just about nothing. I feel like my arm is being twisted to go read the next one. Which is pretty unnecessary because if the story and characters were that great than duh I would go read the next one. And I will read the next one, Perchance to Dream, with some theatrical gusto because that is what it seems to call for. Or maybe it's because the cover is even prettier.

On the whole it's a fun read but not necessarily the best read in terms of writing. It just needed MORE. I wouldn't have minded another 50 to 100 pages if we got more detail and better story flow.

3 large and brightly decorated cakes, because I laughed.
"She's under duress," Peaseblossom said.
"I don't care if she's under duress, over it, or alongside it," Moth said. "Nothing in this world supersedes cake."

Book source: Local library.

Friday Favorites: His Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Clary Fray is not the ordinary girl from Brooklyn that she thought she was. After happening upon what she thinks is a crime scene, Clary is introduced to the world of the Shadowhunters - the world she was born into without realizing it. Shadowhunters are the feared enforcers of law and order who ruthlessly hunt and destroy demons, and keep Downworlders - the supernatural creatures on earth - from preying on humans. None are more skilled at this than Jace, the cocky 17 year old Shadowhunter who delights in smashing heads and breaking hearts. Along with a slew of delightful secondary characters, Clary struggles to solve the mysteries of her past, her forbidden attraction to Jace, her place within this new world of violence, and the growing threat that could destroy Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike - the ex-Shadowhunter, Valentine.

This is a trilogy made up of The City of Bones, The City of Ashes and The City of Glass. I know these have been out for a while, but I just discovered them last year. I had seen them around before and I was like, "Ew the cover art is weird and cheesy," so I never thought about picking one up to read. Also, Stephanie Meyer has this huge endorsement on them and I was thinking that it seemed pathetic to use her name to sell more, which had the opposite effect on me than what the publisher was probably going for. That's what you get for judging by the cover I guess. But who am I kidding - I do it all the time and won't ever stop. And really, the art does His Mortal Instruments NO justice at all. Plus, I was kind of over all these supernatural YA books that are all the rage. But then a friend of mine, whose taste in books I admire, read and loved them so I swallowed my pride and decided to give them a try.

I love these books. They just have so much going for them. It's hard for me to admit my love because I feel like they're such a guilty pleasure, but really I think my snobbery is unfounded because C.Clare is a great writer. She weaves a spectacular blend of elements; a creative and intriguing mythology, fast-paced storytelling, dangerous adventures and dark secrets, love triangles and witty banter. It's like an ice cream sundae with all the works. One of my greatest purchases, and I've gotten some great deals in my lifetime of shopping, was getting the hardcover set last fall from Amazon for only $30 brand new. For ALL THREE. HARDCOVER. Oh Amazon how I love thee. . .

Anyway. I shied away from these because it seemed like the people raving over them were the crazed Twilight fanatics, though I hope that anyone who likes adventure and wit and just an all-around fun story will read them. Not all will like them though, and probably for a couple reasons. First, it is teen angst to the max. Which I very openly love because I find it excessively diverting when done well. And I think it's done well because 1) there's so many other components driving the story besides love, or the lack thereof; 2) the banter between all angsty characters is unrivaled in its hilarity; and 3) Jace. Jace is a love-him-or-hate-him character, and I adore him because he is all snark and Bad-A behavior. I read City of Bones and I was like, Jace is what I aim to be in life! Sans the boy part.

"Not everything is about you," Clary said furiously.

"Possibly," Jace said, "but you do have to admit that the majority of things are."

And that's just a TASTE of what comes out of Jace's mouth. For your enjoyment, here is another exchange that had me laughing as I read it:

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss.

"I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?"

"Traded him for Alec," Clary said.

Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?"

"No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."

Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."

"That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not."

See? Brilliant.

The other reason these don't sit well with some is the revelation at the end of the City of Bones that thwarts the relationship between Clary and Jace. At first I was rather bothered, but of course things get resolved in the very end like all non-tragic epics. I figure that twist was thrown in to keep the tension tight throughout the series, which Clare succeeds in doing. And these books DO have this epic feel about them; not in the way that Harry Potter does but in a similar vein I think.

I wanted to review these because I got all three on audiobook and I've been listening to them the past week at work. The reader for City of Bones is Ari Graynor I think, and Natalie Moore for City of Ashes and City of Glass, though the differences aren't noticeable. In fact, I would have never noticed except that Natalie Moore did the Dairy Queen audiobook too so her voice was familiar to me. Of course I imagine some of the things the characters say (or yell) to sound differently than how they're read out loud, but otherwise the audiobooks are fantastic.

All in all His Mortal Instruments is highly recommended to anyone who likes YA and urban fantasy, or anyone willing to get off their high horse and give them a shot despite those things. Both my thumbs way way up.

Slob by Ellen Potter

Owen Birbaum, age 12, is the fattest kid in school. His younger sister Caitlin, now called "Jeremy" after joining GWAB (Girls Who Are Boys) is much braver than he is. His oreos continue to disappear from his lunch bag despite his genius traps to ensnare the hand of the culprit. And worst of all, his gym teacher has made it his personal agenda to make Owen's life as humiliating and horrible as possible.

Thankfully, Owen is also brilliant. One IQ point below genius as a matter of fact. And now he's on a mission to solve some ongoing perplexing miseries. Like the continuing disappearance of his oreos, with the creepy new kid who may or may not carry a switchblade in his sock being the #1 suspect. And finally getting his machine "Nemesis" to piece together what happened on The Horrible Day that changed everything for him and his sister.

Slob is a Juvenile fiction book that delivers on every level: clever storytelling, unique characters, humor, and Life Lessons Learned. Owen is sometimes a sad character but never pathetic. His humor and big heart make him an ideal hero for this genre.

However. It's one of those For Kids But Also For Adults Who Like Books For Kids sorts of books, which makes it hard to categorize. It has this twinge of sadness running through it, but I think kids could relate to the Gym Teacher from Hell. And it IS really funny. A lot of Juvenile/YA books are crossovers that appeal to a wide audience, but this often confuses me because I'm not sure who to recommend it to. I'm not sure if I would have loved it as a kid the way I do as an adult.

The point is, you can't really fail with this one. So if you're tired of hormonal vampires and obnoxious love triangles and Serious Topics, this will be a breath of fresh air.

Book Source: Local Library.